poise ; dance ; love

*read posts from archives if you use firefox =)

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

i dont really have much to say. feeling kinda down and pretty bummed. my folks are leaving, and i have just been offered to go. and i'd love to but i've got test this week. i mean, i dont see much point in staying here. i'll be all alone. i dont see how that is going to be any fun.

look closely. we are wearing the same type of hoops. not planned mind you.

<3 12:34 AM

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

walk the talk. that is the statement. it just occured to me that i wanted to talk about pastor alvin's sermon on sunday.

this is what i absorbed on sunday. and i thought it was pretty interesting. in order to be a christian in society, we're suppose to stand out. people are suppose to look at us and go,'hey, he/she's a christian.' it has to be obvious. and they notice us in a good way. like,'i like the way that christian kid lives, i wanna live like that.' sounds pretty unreal, doesn't it? but that is the way, it's radicle. last time, you could identify the christians from the crucifix round their necks or the bible in their hands. now however, to wear a crucifix or carry a bible is almost a fashion statement. it's like, wear these pair of jeans and pair it with this bible because it looks good, or, wear this cross with this top because they compliment each other. the bible and the cross, the cross especially, has lost its sacred meaning in the world and in the lives of many. the only way to stand out, nowadays, is to be a christian. to live up the commandments and be absolutely like christ. it is then, and only then that we will stand out. and not stand out like a sore-thumb, but instead, stand out like a rose amongst the thorns.

why i decided to blog about the sermon? i was at macs the other day and the cashier pointed to my cross and said.'are you a christian?' i realized that people do notice us. they know who we are, and many a times they watch us. like pastor alvin said,'when a man of the world makes a mistake, not much mention of it is made. but when a man of God makes a mistake, the whole world knows about it and mocks it.' so there, we as christians have a standard to live up to. people watch us and silently make sure we live up to them. not that i absolutely live up to it. but it's interesting, dont you think? how we as people live our lives the way we do, not relizing that people do notice when we wear that cross around our necks or carry that bible in our hands. you better believe it.

<3 11:39 AM

Monday, May 29, 2006

had lunch with jon today. pepper lunched. i actually spent more than him. the highlights of today was definitely helping jon pick out shirts or shirt fabrics rather, car servicing and ice cream. i think i enjoyed the tailors the most, so much for me being bored and having nth to do jon. i ce cream was nice too. we actually talked. as in, we had a conversation that didnt constitute him dissing me or me getting pissed at him. so it was good. like totally.

i'd let you drag me anywhere. anywhere with you is exactly where i want to be

yst i watched grease the musical. it was pretty good. a little hilarious too, in a good way of course.

this is the stage

sisso and i during the interval. i think my sister's really pretty.

<3 8:20 PM

Sunday, May 28, 2006

i went to cut my hair as i said i would haha.

before

after

pretty big change huh?! but i think it looks quite good and so does alot of ppl. THANK GOD! i felt kinda naked though, no hair covering my shoulders.

i took neoprints with my sis. before the haircut.

i like the black one the most. i designed it but that is not why i like it. dont you think it looks nice?

then we had cvc dinner

i love my mummy!

mum and sisso

the women in my dad's life

nat! uncle jesse's daughter. so very very cute

true brothers in christ. it was coincidental, believe it or not.

post to be continued....

<3 12:21 AM

continued post....

the people at the table

the mess the people left behind =)

i must say that today was a good day. the best i have had in awhile.

<3 12:15 AM

Saturday, May 27, 2006

that was how i started the night. registration and a shimmer tattoo [above]. it was actually pretty boring in the beginning with the games. but once the performances started, it got progressively better. the dramas were pretty good. the dance was really good. or maybe i am just bias. which is a highly likely sort of thing. dance-dude was kinda cute with his hair all up. a little retarded no doubt, but still kinda cute. i swear he almost tripped over his own feet though. heh!

anyway, that is pretty much all i have for now. i think i'll go cut my hair today.

when it comes to a point when you miss someone till it feels like your dead inside, who needs suicide.

<3 11:52 AM

Thursday, May 25, 2006

i think hot studd is back in business.

dance was not bad. peter teo knows my name. and i have a new mystery guy. shall call him dance-dude. haha. so now we have, hot studd, goofball, dance-dude and singaporean-american unidude. the last one is obviously jon and since i talk abt jon all the time, there is no need for a mystery nickname.

any developments pertaining to my mystery men? nope. not at all. not even the not-so mysterious one. i love that one, but i guess it's just not enough. not a one-sided love affair anyway. i suppose all i can do is pray that he'll always be a happy person. since i cant be the one that makes him happy. wait till i am twenty and we'll try again, he says. we'll see how that goes. in the mean time. the need for a male companion has become degradingly evident. not that i am desperate. i just miss it. the loving someone and getting it back in return.

i have to spend lots of time with my family. they will be gone from next thurs till mon. here is what i have planned. movie tmr night or sat night. dinner before that. lunch with them on sun. dinner with them on wed. anf a big hug and a kiss on thurs morning. i am going to miss them so much. it's times like this that i absolutely wish i was with jon. then i wouldn't be so alone during the 5 days. at least there will be someone to keep me company. i really miss that guy. and have i said that i am really going to miss my folks and my sis? because i am really going to.

<3 11:07 PM

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

just got home. tiring day. lunched with jon. yes, i have decided to use names since everyone knows about him anyway. i walked into levis at taka to look for jon and i saw sheng ting. sheng was like, 'oh the poa guy arh?' haha! see, everyone knows. and i just realized that 'i talk abit too much' is not figurative when it comes to me, it's literal. by the way, classmates, jon is a finance major not accounting major. there's suppose to be a huge difference. no wonder nyp just offers them both together, accounting and finance. to avoid any possible disputes. haha! random and out of point. i know. anyway, i had a good time. although, it would have been alot more fun if the conversations did not revolve ard tiffany and how much he should like girls his age. but i guess beggers cant be choosers. not that i am a begger or anything. just that i really want to go out with him, so when i get to i'm not gonna complain. but all in all it wasnt too bad. i got to sit in my lovely lovely van. i love that van.

finished my stats. now have to get through accounts. think i'll bring josh to school tmr and try to get him working. i swear that sounds wrong. heh!

<3 9:40 PM

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

teary teary night

ever cry yourself to sleep for three nights straight? try doing it with a swollen eye.

why cant i just let go? why am i still holding on to something that i am sure will come to nothing? i'm not acheiving anything but a broken heart further broken. i want to be set free. set me free, or teach me how. i cant sleep, i cant eat. i just want to be hugged and loved by anyone really. somebody save me?

it kills to love you. it makes me wonder why i still do.

<3 12:51 AM

Saturday, May 20, 2006

i think today went pretty well. and the fact that i spent most of today at home is not the point. seeing the whole euro tours gang again was really cool. all of them still think i am with singaporean-american unidude though. so when they were making fun of the other jonathan there, it was a stab to the heart. cvc was also pretty good. joshua is meanly selective to children. he is only mean to some of them. one in particular. and jesse's daughter is so ultra-superifically cute. extremely adorable.

i also had branch with hubby. i love that girl, absolutely love her. heh. decided to let her have a whole paragraph. she is always there for me and i am pretty sure we have an unexplainable understanding of each other. if we were actually guy and girl, this would be a match made in heaven. i am sure of it. i had a blast. prata was good. always is. it's like our place. haha.

singaporean-american unidude
he is still always on my mind. i feel kinda sad for him. i wish i could make it all better. it kills me to hear him go on and on abt the girls he likes but at the same time, it hurts even more to see him in such a bad state. i wish i was in the position to kiss him and say that everything will be alright. i mean, i just want him to happy. as simple as that. i have never put my happiness over others, so he is no exception. he says i am too nice to him. always the sweetest girl even though he treats me like crap. hubby thinks so too. but i guess it's just me. built into my nature. kinda sucks, i know. but what to do? i was made this way. to feel what others feel and constantly be in everybody else's shoes.

i took this off a tissue box at cvc

i still love you.

<3 12:27 AM

Friday, May 19, 2006

i found the culprit. my perfume bottle. it's got a magnetic cap. its the only thing in my bag that could potentially set off the alarms. cant carry it around anymore i guess. heh!

<3 1:51 PM

Thursday, May 18, 2006

it's been a rather interesting day i must say. for one thing. my bag set off the alarm of every boutique i stepped into. even guardian pharmacy. i am still looking for the culprit. so freakin embarrassing.

time to photo blog. wheeee!

i dont think you can tell, but we are wearing the same top.

drawn. denise and allison respectively. drawn for each other. we were dead bored. econs.

i think denise was border.[actually i asked for this one]marketing.

then we went on a topshop 'try on' clothing spree.

can you tell that i tried on the most pieces?

i cant seem to post anymore. so i will cont this post...

<3 11:22 PM

now we press on...

we took more pictures at the station and on the mrt.

ernest

alvin

and this ended my day.

i met up with singaporean-american unidude. [i have to think of a shorter nicknmame, starting to become a real chore to type] we almost talked abt the whole break up again. i almost cried. but i managed to stop him. but all in all, i had a pretty good time. my folks asked if i was so gloomy because he came back and didnt call, i think i am gloomy because i'm so close yet i am so far. and the way he talks abt other girls just really turns me off. i mean, i'm a girl possibly still in love with this guy. i dont really want to undergo 'singaporean-american unidude and his girls 101'. not my kind of lesson, not at all. not that i want to be a wet blanket or anything, it just hurts. it really hurts.

goofball noticed i wasnt around and asked? i guess he would do it for anybody. he said i was noisy though. boo to him. idiot!

<3 11:19 PM

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

i think i have officially become a photo blogger. so many pictures.

*food for thought
is it worst to love someone and not be able to be with them, or to be with someone and not love them at all?

does it matter if people notice me or is it more impt if i notice them?

would my life have stayed it's daily routine course if i never met you? last i checked, i didnt sign up for heartache and heartbreak. [singaporean-american unidude]

will it be wrong to like you so much and never say a word? will it matter to you if i did? [goofball]

if i died today or i contracted some fatal disease, would anyone cry [except immidiate family of course] or would they say good riddance?

do people stare at me because i am pretty or because i look weird?

do i complain i am fat because i am possibly partially anerexic or because i am fat?

is it wrong to want the unrealistic or am i just suppose to stay stuck in reality with no fantasia to escape to?

will i be able to handle your return? [singaporean-american unidude]
*end

believe it or not, all these ran through my head today.
hey! no pictures. so much for photo blogger.

one last thing, i am having food poisoning. it's eating me up inside. i practically live in the loo, no i am not blogging from the toilet. it was a figure of speech, c'mon! food goes up and down my throat. no puking though. but i feel like crap. and the food part is kinda funny, because i only ate one meal today. almost didnt finish that. hmph! my tummy hurts. first it was a soar throat and inflamed limphnotes, shortly aft that is over i get food poisoning. i think i am going on a sick spree. anyone interested to join me?

<3 10:26 PM

this is my 200th post

i was bored

believe it or not- this is actually a 'we hate pink' campaign picture.

we were bored in comm class =)

goofball is nice and shows concern

<3 12:09 AM

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

jon is coming back. i am not mature enough for this. i am woman enough to admit it? it's going to start all over again. for me anyway. maybe if i am lucky, he wont look me up at all and it will just be like the times when he came back and i didnt exactly know him. just like before?

although i do not think that is what i really want.

<3 8:27 AM

Monday, May 15, 2006

yst i had church. and i saw hubby. we both had really sweet dome coffee. haha.

playing with hub's new phone

shoesies =)

i am using josh again. it has been a long long time since i have used josh. i have also installed the adsl and pacnet into josh so i can use it anytime now. no need to worry abt having no wireless network. woohoo!

anyway, i had my speech presentation today. i think it went pretty well. florence said she enjoyed it. i liked derek's speech. i truly admire his love and respect for his mum.

i have backup tonight and i have tutorials to finish. i think i will do them at cvc.finish them all. accounts and stats i think. ICAs are on their way.

singaporean-american unidude comes back on thurs morning instead of tues. so i guess i'll have to look for someone else to watch movie with.
i think i will end up paying someone to watch it with me. that is how much i want to watch.

the woman i might end up paying. love ya woman!

florence!!!

toodles

<3 3:40 PM

Saturday, May 13, 2006

the patriot is a nice show. really sad and really nice.

study at the esplanade

she was hungry

a pretty convincing actress i am =)

root beer advert?

happy muggers! [bored muggers more like it]

this is what too much mugging does to a person

i miss singaporean-american unidude. i want him to come back and spend everyday with me. goofball says i still love him. oh gosh. i really hope i dont.

<3 10:52 PM

Friday, May 12, 2006

no goofball. no hot stud. no singaporean-american uni dude.

if you come back and tell me about the girls you like and the girls who like you or the girls you cant have, i swear i will kill you [verbally anyway].

i have a new skin. no it was not made by derek. derek had no inspiration to help me. i made this all on my own. guess the theme of it. butterflies of course. heh!

i fell sick today. so i could not watch MI3. i really want to watch but gdine wont go with me because she wants to watch with jh. and everyone else i know is busy tmr. i think it's just me, but i never seem to have anyone there for me when i need them. this really sucks.

<3 6:20 PM

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

i know why i think having a boyfriend is a good thing. because i dont like being single. singularity is just difficult. not that i am desperate. it's just that when your single, and when your me, there is always so much emotion circulating through your body. emotion and feelings toward the opposite gender that you have to fight. mainly due to the fear of rejection, the fear of losing a good friend and the fact that the guy/gal might already have a second half. and there is also the fear of being the talk-of-the-century [not that it's ever that good, but ppl still talk nevertheless]. so you fight the feelings, you tell ppl who you can possibly trust [if there even is such a thing]. for the rest of the world, you keep absolutely silent and remain in strict denial. however, when your attached, you dont have to bury the feelings. even if the person you have feelings for at that point is not your bf/gf, you will still have someone to pump off the feelings on [not that it's the right thing to do]. and you always have someone to fall back on. dont get me wrong, i totally dig singularity and freedom and all, but i guess i am just another girl who wishes and wants so much more. and the more i want, the more depressing it gets.

i'd pick the goof ball over the stud anyday.

<3 8:42 PM

Monday, May 08, 2006

i talked to benjamin!!!

i miss the guy. like my buddy'ol pal. my personal jukebox that plays one song on allison's demand. baby i'm amazed by you. haha. when ben sings, he melts your heart. there's just something abt it that is so good. i love his voice. and just his voice mind you. but i do miss every bit of him neverthe less. in fact i miss the whole clan. havent seen melvin in awhile either, and to think that we are bloody in the same school. haha

josh came back today, however, acer conveniently forgot my charger. so yea, i have no charger. must remember to call them tmr. and i have dance tmr. i cant wait.

please make my 'lots of butterflies' skin derek. oh please oh please oh please. haha. i'll pay you. in compliments anyway. your so nice and so kind and your such a dear and such a gentleman. that is like the first 50%, you'll get the other 50% after the jobs done. haha. erm pwease?

i am high right now. ~~just a little~~.

<3 10:39 PM

Sunday, May 07, 2006

mk 0603's bbq was really good. food was great [and the fact that i didnt eat much is not the point]. people were awesome. booze wasn't too bad either. although i still say beer taste like alcohol mixed with ash [addictive ash?]. the 'after party' was pretty fun too.

*supernumber?*
i macked you with sausage?
their lips touched!!! their lips touched!!!
cannot lah! sausage too small.
*take slightly bigger piece*
waoh! ok, no need to play le. their lips confirmed touched.
*gameover*
i think if i made a porn clip, all i would need is kissing scenes.
lips touched? i dont know. i was laughing to much.
and the bloody cramps [every pun intended] didnt help.
erm yea.

i fell down and grazed my knee. my mum freaked out. she had some good but crazy-insane intentions. spray op-site? need i say more.

start*
i stopped trying to con you
why so fast?
what do you mean why so fast?
i mean, why you give up so quickly?
end*
what is the point of trying? it's not as if i will get a response. anyway, whatever the case, all the best for your finals and dont collapse? will be praying for you.

he called

<3 12:13 AM

Friday, May 05, 2006

my first dance class in ages. he is worse than jean. i didnt know anyone could have stretching that was beyond jean. it was a double whamy, literally. but it was good. i had a lot of fun.

i got drama too, but i dont think i will be taking it. its just too much. stick to one and be good at it. and besides, even now i am so back dated in my homework. not a good thing. gonna finish everything today and then go for the bbq. i think it sounds like a good plan.

i had a dream last night. it was a good dream. we kissed? and no, jonathan was not in it. i liked the dream. he is a very good kisser, but then again, maybe every kiss i get in my dreams is very good. it is a dream after all.

it has been 2 days

<3 11:41 AM

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

the performance went pretty well. i most definitely did have a blast. believe it or not, i am actually a little down it is all over. but at least i can start looking forward to wednesdays and fridays at home. josh is still not back from acer yet though, so that is a bit of a bummer.

madonna will be leaving us. she has moved to BM.

MADONNA!!! WE ARE GOING TO MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!

you can call me in the middle of the night if you must. hees =)

HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY ANDREA!!!

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY SHANE!!!

~~i miss him~~

it has been 1 day

<3 11:50 PM

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

the day has been tiring. the performance is in order [finally]. and i guess everything will run smoothly tmr. lathargic is the word. the feeling that adheres to my body. the only feeling i am capable of right now. it's kinda sad actually.

i like him alot. step one: we get over the love[not easy]. step two: we go onward on the like[slow and easy]. like alvin says, i have three years. maybe the rash scars will disappear.

i hear your voice and it resounds like music to my ears. talking to you always makes my day. but the conversations seem emptyand you always seem too busy. dont call when your occupied, call when your actually free. then neither of us will get frustrated so easily. honestly, i cant wait for you to come back. i want to spend everyday with you, if you want to spend it with me of course.

oh gosh! what a ramble.

he called today.

<3 8:20 PM